I can’t lie, I’m heartbroken. Absolutely shattered. My heart gets so heavy sometimes I can hardly breathe. But this is not about me.
I’m sorry about what happened. No one expected it. I was so happy to see you on Sunday that I gave you a big hug, twice. I had missed you. Now I miss you. I didn’t realize I loved you so much. You were like a brother to me. You’re a great guy.
Who’s going to pray with me on Thursday evenings now?
Who’s going to suggest we spend all our public holidays and free time praying together?
Who’s going to plan the “Set Apart” for the Prayer Unit?
Who’s going to prolong meetings by bringing up prayer point after prayer point?
Who’s going to tell us to not be in a hurry to end meetings because “suntin is about to happen”
Who’s going to be our prophet and tell us the mind of God?
Who’s going to call people out and pray for them?
Who’s going to call me “Great man”, or “Apostle”, or “Big man”?
Who can love God like you did? Who can do the things you did?
You had escaped the fire, why did you go back? Why did you have to be a hero? I know the devil caused the fire. Jesus taught us that whenever we see death, loss and destruction it’s the devil’s work. But I will never believe the devil manipulated you into going back. He doesn’t have that type of hold over God’s children. If he does then none of us would be alive. I know you, the only reason why you went back in there was because you thought God will never let the fire harm you. You went back in faith, and maybe a little too much adrenaline.
I’m not going to say Jesus wanted you gone from earth, but I’m sure He allowed it. Of course He could have gotten someone to stop you from going back inside the conflagration. Of course He could have made you stumble and fall so you would be too injured to go back in. He allowed it, but why He did I don’t know.
I know that Jesus holds the key to death and hell, and for this reason death cannot take any of His own without His consent. And I know the gates of hell will never open its mouth for any son of God to walk in. Hell was not made for children of God but for devils. I know you’re in heaven. I know all these things. But hey, I’m still devastated.
And you know what? It’s our loss but your gain.
You finally get to see our Lord Jesus Christ. How elated you must be!
Speaking of Jesus, please help me tell Him I love Him. And after you tell Him, tell Him again. Tell Him to please keep me from falling and failing Him. Tell Him to give me more of Him. Please, tell Him to keep me from failing Him.
I was going to say See you soon. But I’m sure my mum is reading this and I don’t want her to get scared. So, see you when God says so.
I love you man.